Just Tired

[TiredTN]

So this is my first post in over a month. Things have been pretty quiet for a while. No huge drama, no huge amount of hate or anger. I think in the last three months we've had sex 3 times which is just our normal. There have been no "I love you's" from either of us...but things have been tolerable. I haven't really known how to progress and I didn't schedule another session with my divorcebusting coach, probably because we weren't in crisis and so I let it slide.

So now we are approaching crisis time again. Over the last several months she has told each kid at least once that they are stupid and told our son he is weird. That just burns me up. It's not something that happens every day. It's not like she's beating them up and locking them in the closet, but those are crushing words for a 10 and 7 year old to hear. I cannot stand that and I defend them right away if I am hearing it first hand.

Then here recently someone in the community passed. Older gentleman, very influential in the community...and she went on and on about, "who is this guy that he is so important?! What did he ever do?" She went somewhere and got slowed down by the funeral procession and starts texting me about how this guys funeral procession "outdid your (my) dad's" and how she "hates small town politics" and on and on. So I text her back that,"Someone died and people are paying their respects." and she replies back with some more choice texts. Then I text her something I have been wanting to ask for years, "Why are you so bitter?"

Well...That was Monday, this is Wednesday and we've hardly spoken since then.

Today is "cleaning day"...she cleans the house every wednesday, which is nice, we have a very clean house. The problem is she is kind of pissed the whole time she is cleaning...every Wednesday. I work out of the house and I'll be on the phone and she wants to vacuum my office. That's ridiculous and she gets even more pissed if I ask her to wait.

So now we just aren't really talking at all. Oh yes and on another front several of the insurance carriers (health insurance) in TN will no longer be paying commission come Jan 1. So I lose 75% of my income in January. Just a little added stress.

My anxiety level is through the roof and I just don't know which way to turn.