thanks - yes, that is a good way to see things. I do ask her what she wants - one thing she wants, for example, given that she is a good friend of my xW, is to have our relationship be public (so far we hide things) - but she is naive (and she says so) in many ways, inexperienced in relationships, having been with only two men, ever, and this for only a short time (out of which resulted two kids). She is coming over tonight -
Luke
What does being naïve have to do with making your relationship public?
I can tell you first hand, keeping a relationship under wraps hurts. I don't think you need to broadcast it, but hiding it is painful, for too many reasons to even write here.
There is nothing naïve or inexperienced about not wanting your relationship a secret.
I dated a guy going through the " I'm going through a selfish phase, as long as we do things my way, it's cool" Nah, it wasn't cool.
I believe you should examine your own wants and boundaries, absolutely. Wanting your own time and to travel is great, but in a relationship comes compromise. Are you ready for the compromise? Are you ready to address her needs and wants also?
Are you with her because you want to share your life with someone? or are you with her because you life the comfort of having a girlfriend?
