I moved out for about 2 months, moved back in due to holidays, son being home, yada, yada, yada. Absolutely no change in him except the wall went up higher and is thicker.
Talked to him about what he wanted to do. He does not and will not change, will not even consider therapy with someone trained in sexual dysfunctions (went to C for 3-4 sessions, C suggested specialist in sexual dysfunction, H stalled to make appointments since therapy was through his insurance.) "It's all just psychobabble anyway, " is a favorite saying of his.
Essentially to him, if mariage is so much work, why bother? His statement that he never, ever wanted to touch me again sent chills down my spine. Why? Because he never has any desire and, well, that's just fine with him. Thanks for thinking about me and my needs, you b@st@rd!!!
He wants a D because he does not want to find out or even explore his a-sexuality. He might find out somethings about himself that he cannot handle. Like there are some emotions in there? Think Spock. Very intelligent, witty, shy, but NO EMOTION. Never wants to touch or be touched.
I just can't do this anymore, and I know I have not pushed but I was not emotionally ready to file and move forward. Been going through some very serioud grieving fo rthe death of what little bit of a marriage I had, and trying not to blame myself for it. Well, it takes two, and one of use just wanted to be roommates for the vast majotity of our marriage. Yesterday was our 16th wedding anniversary and no acknowledgement.
Unless both people agree, a platonic marriage is utter hell..
