Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 5

[PsySara]

Thanks guys, just kind of drift mode. I've been a little numb mixed with moments of sadness. WH and I went to the mall today and things were okay but then suddenly he kind of checked out. His expression and body language was turned inward. I checked on him and he said he was distracted, this is code for "struggling right now." Honestly I've been a little blah today so I wasn't my best at "acting as if." I am not going to kick myself too much over this but rather just take it easy.

I think I am going to start IC for myself so I can have somewhere to process the affair without having to constantly check my own anger. I think part of the struggle I have is WH still doesn't show true remorse, I think he is filled with regret and guilt but remorse is too much for him. He may never have the strength and then I will know I have to move onto a future without him. For now I think we both need time and space (without living apart) to lick our proverbial wounds. I've lost so much weight that co-workers have noticed, my sleep is still hit or miss and I still have affair nightmares. Time for more self care and working on me.