Found out about W affair, she does not know I know

[Steady9]

I asked a couple more direct questions and she answered them ... these we sex related. (But her answers helped me-- they used comdoms. It was two times and there was no oral involved. I know some people may not need details. But I needed or wanted a couple of details.... )

She said that she has never stopped loving me.... she said that over this year there were times when she wanted to give me a hug after I got ready for work. ... but she was not going to do that since everything was not alright... she did not say she loved because same reason.

She is normally tough. She says and I would say. This year she did. It know what to do. She felt Ike there were things I was not doing and we just did not get it worked out. ( me being present/engaged with her and or kids)

I asked why didn't she just raise her hand and say something-- I would have rather talked before you had sex with someone... we are certainly talking now.

She discribes the affair as a car wreck and I discribe it as nuclear war.....

My W is more immature than I thought. Not pointing or blaming... just recognizing that I put too much on her and was not paying attention.

Even though she is 42.... she was acting like when we first met. "I am not going to walk over and give you a hug....". She was frustrated

It is hard to get my head around. She did not think I would ever find out .... but I think it took this event and my conversation to say I was letting her go... for her to picture life without me. She says she never pictured life without me... not sure I believe her over this year.

She is continuing to read about infidelity so more to come.