Sandi, Yes I guess it WOULD have been my initial reaction. "fighting" would have been to pursue and chase. I know now that this is wrong.
I came from a family where my parents had (what I perceived to be) a perfect marriage. If there were problems, you'd sit down and sort them out. This is ingrained into me (core belief).
I almost feel that working and concentrating on me is turning my back on the marriage. It seems that none of my efforts are being placed on reassuring my W that I'm capable of change....
...Now through my learning, I know that actions speak loader than words and my W has no reason to trust my words - so actions it is! I also know I cannot control her (nor do I want to) and that the only way that our M stands a chance is if she wants to come back. I must not pursue her and this in turn (amongst other actions) MAY show her that I have changed. Its then up to her if she likes the new version of her H. She might not!
Sandi, your sig says it well - what I 'know' has failed me. I need to re-educate and gain a whole new attitude and perspective. And although difficult, this should be done solely for me.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
