I about died laughing over the landline call. I guess he's trying to make a point, i.e., ET phone home. LOL!
Poor boo, he so needs a laptop. He should go out and purchase a new one. Now's a good time to do so because companies are trying to build up the hype for the holidays. Of course, he doesn't want to spend any money and is still trying to make a point of it. I'll be curious to hear if he went out and got a new one. Maybe he'll finally wise up and put a tracker on it! LOL!
He is definitely on PA man! He thinks he's punishing you for your behavior. He doesn't realize that he is only making himself look crazy in front of others and hurting himself in the process. Poor Boo! So, what do you think his costume will be this year for Halloween? A ghost from Christmas past?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Westo - Oh, I don't have to look too far for the humor in it and that saves me.
Job - LOL on the costume idea. The ringing landline cracked me up, too. I realized it doesn't have an outgoing message on it and boy, I sure would like to have some fun with that one. How about: "hi h! I know it's you calling because I am watching you from the computer I stole from you! Just kidding! I know it's you because you're the only one who calls this thing! S11 is not home because he's out riding his awesome bike! Beeeeeep...."
Job - I am dying to see what we all get for XMAS given it's been a banner gift year for the kids. I am betting I get a macaroni necklace...
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Hey HaWho. Just caught up with the past couple of weeks and all I can say is "wow." You are an amazing woman.
I echo your thoughts regarding the marriage vows. The words "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" have crossed my mind often. Thus far, I've stuck to my vows and that's been a great source of strength for me through all this. That I was a good person who kept her word.
I kind of agree with Job about the "punishing." My H is very good at that when he doesn't get his way. The funniest one ... when he started staying away for weeks and weeks at a time, I figured what the heck. His little sports car was just collecting dust and cobwebs in the garage so I started driving it ... daily! And I told him so and commented about how much fun it was to drive. Before he left on his next visit here, he took the car to his parents house and parked it in their garage so I couldn't drive it. How dare 2T drive his car. That must be stopped and she must be punished!
Anyway, he would do this "punishing" stuff, either through deeds or hurtful spew and I would let it get to me and upset me and I would react. I finally learned not to react and when he stopped getting a reaction to his drama (punishment), he stopped a lot of it. He still goes there from time to time, but I just go on about my merry way and ignore his antics.
I do find it interesting that your H likes to confront things through texts and email. Mine rarely does that, preferring a curt response along the lines of "we'll discuss it when I get back" if I bring up something. Guess he doesn't want anything "on the record."
Hope your weekend went well.
xoxoxo 2T
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
2T - I chuckled over your h taking his toy (his car) and hiding it so no one else could play with it! Nice to hear from you.
Friday h did his PA ignore me routine. No surprises there.
As for the weekend, I was expecting more of the cold shoulder. There were a lot of surprises however. H started to eat my food again and grace us with his presence at dinner.
The weekend started off with him asking my advice on this home remedy I use for the kids. I found it interesting he would take my advice given the various paranoias he's displayed toward me.
He wants to dress the dog up for Halloween. He used to love this holiday and he had a lot of fun planning what he'll do for the dog. It was nice to hear him laughing. This is all a change from 2 years ago when he was so depressed he didn't even seem to know it was Halloween. (And last year he forgot what he had done the previous year [nothing] and had to ask us! He couldn't remember the holiday at all!!!)
On Saturday, he offered to do a,b, and c for me and he made a real show of it. I thanked him but kept waiting for him to drop some unwelcome news. Usually when he does something nice it's because he's about to do something he knows he ought not to do. It never came. He stayed home and in fact, asked us all to take the dog out with him. (Maybe he did the nice things because he had already done the thing he feels guilty for?!?)
Most noteworthy is that he did some parenting this weekend. The boys were squabbling and it was escalating. H left the dorm room and told me he'd take this one. (That's a first in a lonnng time.) Later in the day, kids started to bicker again and h came out and handled that one as well.
Last night he texted me asking about plans for Thanksgiving. We agreed on some plans.
Looks like he'll be doing some peeking out for the holidays. I have seen this pattern before. But, unlike in past years, this time I gave it all very little thought.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Well, it certainly didn't take long for him to get over his snit and start eating what you cooked again! LOL! I think he's starting to realize that you aren't going to react to his snits so he's going to try a different tactic. Remember, this is how the pursuers and distancers play the game. If they can't get you to chase them one way, they'll try another way.
I'm glad the weekend was much better for you...but stay on your toes! Halloween is just around the corner!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job - looks like he's returning to some of his favorite oldie but goodie tactics.
Yesterday he sent me another text (long groan) and was again quite aggressive. It was just a general text about finances but he did make a few jabs at me. Most noteworthy he said something like "you are not a responsible adult" and inferred that he is. That's interesting considering the circumstances.
I ingnored it completely (didn't think about it too much) and that felt great as I am pretty sure he is trying to get me to fight via text, his favorite battleground.
A few hours later another text (he needs a smaller data plan). This time he is asking me to remove the email that links our credit card to a certain service we use. He had asked me to do this a while back and I did it but then recently, I needed to login and re-activated my email and forgot to de-activate it. He tells me if I cannot deactivate this he will "regrettably" have to cancel me off that credit card. Then he finishes by telling me "to stop making his life so hard."
This kind of stuff reminds me of how he was pre-BD. He was looking for fights.
I ignored that one too. But this morning as I was leaving to drop off kids I told him the card will be deactivated within the day. I was pleasant and quick.
I came home after dropping off the kids and h made a joke and was acting all charming. I joked back but also walked right on by.
Seriously, it's like 2 people: the texting personality and the in-person personality.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Esame - lol! Is it time for h to go (back) to college yet?!?
After a day of nasty texts today he sends me a really cordial one. It is about some recent plans we have that have fallen through. He apologizes and says he'll work on plan B.
I texted something cordial back and acted "as if" but boy, it must be a mess in his head. How do you go from insulting someone one day to being syrupy sweet the next and all with no segue like "hey, sorry about all that cr@p I said about you yesterday."
I swear, it's like multiple personalities.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
