Posting foul!! 2 minute penalty. You took what I said out of context. Please understand that I hear you, but I think you missed what I was driving at.
Quote: There will not be a succesful solution for us until my wife is able to be affectionate or sensual to me WITHOUT any assistance on my part.
That is what you originally said. The -- WITHOUT any assistance on my part -- is what bothered me, and what it was that I responded to.
Quote: That is a very specific definition of what you EXPECT from her, and if that expectation is not fulfilled, then the entire situation is a bust -- you are allowing her no room or freedom to be her. And let's be honest, I'm sure if you thought there was anything you could do to 'help' her be more affectionate or sensual with you, you'd be all over it in 2 seconds flat.
So what you are saying is:
1. She must be who she used to be 2. She must desire you 3. She must desire you without any assistance (effort?) on your part
Is that what you are saying? (I'm asking to make sure I understand you clearly).
I just think that when you bring two people together, stick them in a house, give them kids to attend, jobs, etc., someone is going to change, and in order for the machine to keep working, it will take effort on the part of both parties. I would never, ever tell you that I think your wife is trying -- at least based on the things you have said -- the whole point to my response is, if she is willing to FIX this and really try to find/express her desire, she may need your help -- that may require some effort on your part.
If you EXPECT her to follow 1-3 above, I think you are setting yourself up for failure... you want to go back to what you used to be, instead of moving forward to see what you can create TOGETHER with who you are now. No one can go back.
