Vinny76 - in the specific case you mention you can politely point out that you won't stand to be talked down to that way. If she persists (and probably will), make a point of leaving the room stating that this isn't a healthy conversation and you'll wait until she is able to speak to you like an adult. In most cases that I've read it takes a few tries but most spouses will learn.
That boundary protects you and defines the actions you will take for yourself. In my case whenever my W would bring up topics that related to OM I would state "change the subject please" and she would.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
