3 Months of misery

[coffee_]

Just a quick check in. I have been out of the house since August 1, and had very minimal contact. We are co-parenting and communicating pretty good regaurdign that. To reply to Zuess, there is no way that she will try to move those mountains. I have realized now that she has been needing something else besides just me for 8 years now (maybe more). It is what it is, I love her, I miss her, but realistaclly I cannot see myself going back to that woman, not after the abuse that she administered. Looking back some of the things that she did where pure evil. You would never know she was capable just by glancing at her and her life, she is very good at her facade. I have fully accepted my situation, the hurt returns periodically but I am a happy man to be free from her grips, manipulation, lies, and chaos. My life is getting more simple by the minute. D is final January 25th, but that is just a date for the paperwork. I really feel free from her emotional grips. Somedays I wish terrible things to happen to her but realize she is a person, and my sons mother. I am considering some counseling again to start work on forgiveness, I am not sure I am ready for that but really just want to start to understand how to forgive someone who has done this terrible thing. I know it would be a lot easier if she was involved in the healing process, but I don't have that luxury. Someday I will find the right person to give my heart to again, I want to make sure that I am not resentful and able to love, trust and be a good partner. I wish everyone a great Monday.