This isn't going to be as detailed as it should be because I am on my lunch break but I need to get this out there before I contact WS when I shouldn't.
I have been married 20+ years. In the last couple of years, I have had a few Ddays(all the same OW). 4 months ago, we started with a really good MC and I thought we were finally on the right track. Two weeks ago, I found out that the OW was still in the picture and I kicked him out. He has, apparently, ended it with her but I have no way to be sure. She has been angry and spiteful.
I want to try and work things out with WS provided he start going to IC(I already do) and continues going to MC. We have gone to MC twice in the last two weeks and go again on Thursday but he is now saying that our marriage was terrible and that he is looking at the big picture and not just his affair.
I'm normally the begging, pleading type so I have tried really hard the last couple of days not to contact him and I have been successful. He is extremely conflict avoidant though so I don't know if that is the right approach.
My questions:
Is not contacting him the right way to go? We do have kids but the oldest are no longer speaking with them and the youngest can text him herself. There is really no reason for us to be in contact.
If that is the right way to go, how do I handle MC this week? I am trying to detach but the whole point of MC is not to detach.
How do I respond to "I love you" or "I miss you" texts? I haven't had any in the last few days but earlier in the week I did. Of course, I acted like a needy idiot and scared him off.
How do you deal with the anger?
I desperately want to text him. I have terrible anxiety. PLEASE help me not to. I think I read every thread on the site this weekend. I keep reading Sandi's Rules over and over again and it helps but I miss him.
