F'ing fantastic!! I am so impressed with you and the positive mental attitude coming from I could almost fall over.
You seem to me to be a very analytical type of person, always thinking, always processing, always looking... and that's okay. But in the process of 'moving forward,' don't forget to enjoy where you are.
I hope you can take some of Tim's advice to heart -- try not to define success too narrowly... I'm not saying what you want it narrow, I'm saying, try to leave yourself open to experience success in whatever form it comes... otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
No one can answer the question about your wife's desire. I certainly understand that you don't want to beg for anything, and I don't blame you. But this sentence:
Quote: There will not be a succesful solution for us until my wife is able to be affectionate or sensual to me WITHOUT any assistance on my part.
that one kinda scares me. That is a very specific definition of what you EXPECT from her, and if that expectation is not fulfilled, then the entire situation is a bust -- you are allowing her no room or freedom to be her. And let's be honest, I'm sure if you thought there was anything you could do to 'help' her be more affectionate or sensual with you, you'd be all over it in 2 seconds flat.
I think what you might be saying, and correct me if I am wrong, is that what you want more than anything from her is a reason to hope, you'd like to see some genuine effort on her part, and if you can get it, you'd like a written guarantee that if/when she gets cured, that she stays cured.
I understand that a great marriage includes great sex, but right now, you are the only one defining what 'great sex' is. I'm glad you are clear on what you want, but give the definition some room for what she might want, too. Otherwise, any effort she might make toward that end is going to be lost on you, and she is going to need you to be supportive rather than critical of her efforts. See?
