I have recently talked with the wife. We dicussed our problems with the marriage, but very little about sex. I am more interested in working towards a "Great Marriage" which would have to include great sex. I specifically asked her if we could work together to build a great marriage. Unfortunately her answer was she did not know. However, we still continued to have a very heartfelt, bonding type conversation for quite a long time, and that made me feel better. I am taking her out to dinner here in a few days for our 16th anniversery, and I will continue my discuassions with her about finding more areas that we can address together. It is baby steps, but it is something. My big concern that keeps nagging me is that can a person that has no desire for sex or affection, can they actually be a sexy and affectionate person. There will not be a succesful solution for us until my wife is able to be affectionate or sensual to me WITHOUT any assistance on my part. I no longer want to BEG for affection or sex. It must come from her and be HEARTFELT. And it is EASY to determine if it is heartfelt versus mechanical. I don't want to spend months or years working to change my realtionship and then find out it is not possible to change a ND woman.
