Life is kicking my butt

[qt4x11]

So ... hope you are all doing well. I am just updating my status here. It is not good.

I was attending 'intensive outpatient therapy' at the hospital a couple of weeks ago. I was called into work for a meeting. I thought that it was a standard status update about my current project, but I was wrong - I was let go or 'laid off' from my job. This was about a week ago. They gave me a couple of reasons:

-the company has run into financial problems due to consulting projects falling through
-also, despite the fact I've always had excellent performance reviews. Ever since my separation and divorce from my wife started in May, my performance has gone downhill.

I can't argue with that, I've been trying. But even I'll admit that I've been an emotional wreck ever since this stuff started happening to me. I think my former employers are decent people. But when you are going through a divorce you are not at your best, in fact you're probably at your worst. It's hard to focus at work. It's not like being sick - for instance, when you have the flu - you take a few days off and return to work and it's back to normal again. A divorce is something that can take months or even years to work through - and it changes you. My employers deserve a functional employee.

So I took a few days off - I spent time with the kids. I basically sat at home watching baseball and feeling despondent. But I started to call recruiters and I have some interviews lined up next week. I've been preparing for them all weekend.

I think this might be a blessing in disguise. There's a chance I may wind up with a better job, a promotion or a raise. Money is money. I could also use a change of scenery. Another blessing of being laid off is - it occurred to me that I am not sad and depressed about my wife anymore. At this point she is the least of my worries, after money, having to move to a new house, and now having to find a new job. I don't have to sit around and feel sad about her.

It also occurred to me that at this point - I could give a f**k about my ex wife. I don't want her back. At this point I'm focused on getting back on my feet, and looking towards the future.