A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

I hear you surfer. The spew hasn't been massive lately but for some reason she laid it on thick last night and this morning. Hell, she got mad that I took the recycling down to the curb the other day. I'm a horrible, horrible person...geez

I do find myself wondering if us being physically S will reduce her anxiety level and she will be more balanced. If that's the case though, why even try to keep this thing together. She has a ton of work to do on herself that I can't do for her. Without her doing that I see no way to attempt to fix our MR. It's a shame.

The dating app that rhymed with "patch", ha!, was interesting. Saw someone on there my age from my office. Seems very mainstream nowadays. I'm not there yet though. I am further from my W, in regards to being attached to her (positively or negatively,) than I have ever been though. Scary but liberating st the same time. No doubt there will be backslides, but this really is all about my D and I now.

On the W confrontation front she got mad bc I put out ads mess this morning without asking W if D should have her Allegra. W got mad bc the washer wouldn't " work right" and I was the last person to do a load. W got mad bc I got D home 15 minutes later than we said we would, even though I texted W and told her we'd be late. Got D home AT lunch time, instead of 15 minutes before it. Can't make this up.

Took D to a new state park today. 8500 acres of fun! We did about 5 miles this morning of exploration and chit chat/joking around. D is such a free spirit, it's amazing. Saw a cool lake, a beaver lodge, had some fun around a few of the creeks and skipped some rocks. Caught a brand new Pokemon too, which got us both excited. All in, an amazing time. I asked D how I was doing with my promises and listening (hers and Ws two biggest complaints) and I got two "greats" back from D. Of course I ask what I could be doing better and D responds I could be listening better to mommy and doing what W asks and not doing what she doesn't ask. Same responses for the past few months. Happy D thinks her and I are good now.

I'm sitting on an airplane headed to a conference in Boston for 4 days. Going to miss my D immensely but it may help to decompress away from W for a few days. i meet with my Ls when I get back to discuss the agreement on our end. Still awaiting Ws, though I may get this week. We will see. Like you surfer I feel as though I'm in limbo right now. I do feel like this thing will move pretty quick once the agreements are hammered out though. Working to wrap my brain around that and have a few plans in place.