Found out about W affair, she does not know I know

[Steady9]

Does anyone else struggle with the getting their heads around the infidelity ??

Even if the W comes back which is what we want, we have to not throw it back and let it go. I have the above exercise going in my mind to help (what if we broke up and a year goes by and we started dating again....) Because I want to be with her....

The W may be able to get over it easier or sooner.....

But the H still has heavy lifting to do.... (I feel immature to say this, but it seems unfair...)
But I think this is just the way it is.

Any ideas or how did someone else do it?