Cherry. He's gone, but the drama has not

[Surfer]

Cherry,

Why do you have 4 - I am confused?!

You could always be a bit slow etc in any event. Not much point I guess though. I guess I am saying you can stretch these things out but it does seem rather pointless.

Why does he keep coming round? Is he picking something up? How long does he stay? Can't you ask him to pre-arrange his visits? He's getting his own space but not giving you yours. It seems controlling again. IDK - its hard to light the way home etc when he seems just to be blatantly disregarding your space. Mmmmm. Perhaps the best thing is to 'act as if [he is a nosey neighbour]. The reason being he might get off on you reacting and try to cause an argument and you may snap so don't get involved emotionally; I guess observe him going forward but keep your cool. Don't let him wind you up. If he picks up the phone to OW when you are around you know he/she are trying to get to you through disrespect/goading. Either way don't rise to it.

Or tell him yes come round, arrange a time. Make sure you are focused or out (preferably) - might be good to see how he reacts if you are out and only you MIL is around....? Could try being around and on the phone to another man! It would flick his switch, only joking - why bother? It feels like manipulation rather than observing as such.

Going dark, avoiding all contact and being out when he calls round I think. Play it all safe and stay away from him for a while.

Back to focusing on you. Just put him to one side in your life for now. Did you speak to EAP or IC?

Surfer.