While you've been waiting to find the DR book, why not finish reading your homework assignments?
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As an example of detaching, what should I have done, just said sorry I am busy can't talk now or I'm not really interested ?
She wasn't asking anything from you, right? She was sharing how the store messed up and she got the dress much cheaper than the retail price. If you actually was busy doing something, then you proceed while she's chit-chatting. No need to be rude, if you don't have to be.
Are you sure you understand what DBing detaching really is?
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She was abusing me and having a really angry face
How was she abusing you?
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The main thing here, is I haven't felt anger and unfairness in what she was doing for many years. I have always backed down or let her behave badly
I am finding this to be a common behavior among LBH'S who have a WW. The result in this type of relationship dynamic is a W who loses all attraction for him as a man, and no longer respects him as her H. Until he changes the dynamics, there will be no change in her behavior.....nor her lack of feelings for him.
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This is interesting as although I don't want to have fights with her, calling her out on behavior is something I have been too scared to do for so long
Why? What were you afraid she'd do........... Leave you? So, you go into this subservient role, doing all the work so she doesn't have to, and catering to her like she's the Queen of Sheba. If so, my advice is to resign as her unpaid & overworked employee and start behaving like you are the man in your home. Stop being scared of losing her, and emotionally let go. You are too emotionally dependent on the MR, and that dependency is causing you to cling too tightly....... loosing your manly appeal.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
