Obtaining DR without S seeing is a problem around here. DR should come with a few very lame covers that the other certainly wouldn't pick up. I can think of a few... taxes, fishing, golf, knitting...
Anyway. From what I am reading here your R is in a big rut. Your W is very unhappy in her life, stressed about kids and H. She's friendzoned you (at least, to a degree).
It sounds like there's lots of positive activities you've been doing- yoga, running races, reading self-help books. I'm picturing a generally calm guy, going in to talk to his son, calmly, and an angry, stressed out, frustrated W comes in, trying to make son do his homework. Your dynamic isn't good. Your calmness doesn't make her more calm. DR work is fine, I'd avoid R talk, but I would also sit down with her and offer to make a list of ways you can help with the kids or around the house. Your S is 12-- he's going to be a teen soon, with all that goes not doing homework, on phone constantly be it texting or playing games-- change is afoot. See how she responds to your offer to discuss home life stuff (not R stuff)!
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
