Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife II

[CT1118]

Been working a whole lot. Feeling of very busy. I felt more together this summer in terms of time and how I spent it, was doing very fun things with most days. Hit the doldrums of midway point in my Master's Degree semester. Just so much reading to do. Going to go out today, buy some new clothes I think.

Had an old friend in town this weekend, grew up with the man. Was good to see him. His W is due w/ their first kid in January. He is one of two friends I have trusted with my whole sitch since the get go. Ironically, he has been thinking of leaving his W the entire time. I have known this. But, for the first time this weekend, I heard him say that he wasn't sure if wanted to or should.

So yesterday he and I met my W and s5 (she has him this weekend) for early dinner. When it was done we all said goodbye and I put my s5 into W's car and kissed him goodnight. Later on when my friend and I got back to my apartment we were having a beer on my balcony, I told him "did you see me put my son into her car and kiss him goodnight? That does not get easier, that never feels good to see him get driven away from me, but that's what it looks like." He said "yeah, I watched it. I felt kind of bad for being there, like maybe it was embarrassing to you or her". I told him "No, it wasn't and that's not why I said it. I said it so you would know what it will look like for you if you leave your wife once your kid is born. It's you saying goodbye to you child and watching them drive away. So really, make sure this is what you want." I gave him my copy of DB before he left this morning. He was very receptive to it.

I went a little dark on W two weeks ago. This week she was very talkative, wanting to speak with me on the phone a lot. Open I would say. She mentioned some really bad spending habits, still stressing on our s5. She called me not long after my friend and I left dinner lest night. She wanted us to come over and hang out at her place. In asking, she was very teenage back and forth, just like I described a few weeks ago when she asked me out for dinner. I declined her offer, said my friend and I were going to meet some other friend at my apartment later, which was true.

Now, some new pants are in my future today, weather has changed and I need something new to put on.