Being scared of the rules might keep you from breaking them, yes.

What if you did some self discovery and instead of being scared of them, embraced the rules, and wanted to follow them, no longer being scared?

I'm not insinuating that you'll go back to the dark place you were, but consider the fresh opportunity to discover the why's of your life, and what makes bluthre tick. A 100% bluthre would probably knock your spouses's socks off. Are you at 100%?

M46, EXWW46
M15 T17
D20, S19, D13
M - Addiction since 1998
W EA/PA #1 2013/2014
W EA #2 June 2015...
BD 1 Big D talk 9/15
BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15
Served D 1/22/16
Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)