The point of my post wasn't that's i am looking for a quick solution. It was if confronting her about the A with an ultimatum would be beneficial or not
Confrontation, alone, is not the solution to the problems. Many men think that's all they need to do. I am not saying you should not approach her about the A. I am saying that simply telling her you know about the A, is not enough to turn things around. You need to know what you are dealing with, when you confront her. If you confront her, you need to state a boundary about where you stand. A boundary is not the same as a ultimatum. (The link on boundaries explain). Your boundary should be to protect your feelings, and based on your values and beliefs. For example: (And, for gosh sakes, this only an example, okay?). If you tell her that you won't live in an open M, then she has a choice to make, and you are not controlling her. You are not telling her what to do, but rather telling her what you will or won't do. The action is strictly yours. If she continues the A, then you prepare to S or D. With that said, never make an idle boundary. She will test it, so be ready to back up your words.
It is not too late, but you need to understand what's going on with her. There are threads about the mindset of WW's, if you care to read them. It may give some insight to your W.
