My wife recently left me on my birthday. We had been at odds for sometime as she blamed me for all of her emotional shortcomings and I blamed her for my unhappiness.
At first I was committed to saving our marriage and doing whatever it took to win her back, but now I don't know anymore.
I love my wife very deeply and do not want to see her in emotional pain, but I feel that if I am the cause of it then I need to remove myself from the picture.
We have been married for 5 years, in the last year my wife, the extrovert, social butterfly, and pursuer in our relationship had become emotionally withdrawn, resentful, and angry towards me. I, the introvert became more willing to open up talk and discuss my feelings, but it made her angry.
She abruptly left our home after returning from a week long trip. We were very amicable during and prior to her trip (often being very emotionally and physically intimate); however, on the last night of her trip one of her male friends threatened me in which I went to the police and requested my wife come home to help me.
Instead of supporting me, my wife grew angry, lashed out, and called me petty and insecure. Never accused her (nor do I still believe) she has had an improper relationship with this gentleman, but this gentleman (a friend of her close female friend) appears to be mentally unstable.
Despite this, my wife refused to speak to me and did not tell me when she returned (which was not normal for her as she always got in touch with me on a nightly basis when we were apart). Me not knowing where she was for days drove me crazy, so I frantically called her family looking for her and she got angry. When I tried to call her, she got even more angry and hung up. Finally she sent me a message saying that she needed to come by and pick up her clothes and that she did not feel safe with me.
This through me for a loop, because my wife is the one who has a bad temper and explosive anger.
She left me the day before my birthday and cancelled all the plans she made for me. I'm not angry, but more hurt and worried about her, even after she notified me that she was drawing up a divorce agreement.
I had initially signed up for three coaching sessions and began reading the Divorce Remedy, but I feel there is nothing that can be done at this point. My goal was to stay away, limit contact, and focus on myself. But now that I have a legal matter to attend, she was recently in an auto accident (I own the car), we have joint bills, and she is working on divorce paperwork. So I have no choice but to stay in contact with her.
I do not want it to be done but I feel that there is nothing else I can do.
I'm lost and hurt not because she is no longer with me, but because I can sense her pain.