Be careful when it comes to the kids, they already know something isnt right with mom and dad, the dangers I have seen here is when they are used as a sword or a shield and honestly they should be no where near the battleground .... this may fall squarely on your shoulders.
"1. Do I ask her to move out?" Do you want her out? This is only a question you can answer I would advise like any move, do not just do something to get a reaction or try to force movement aka "snap her out of it" it will likely result in something you do not want. Live in MLCrs seem to be more difficult than ones who run and find their own place, I had the later so I can not really relate to the live in ones.
"2. Do I go to the Happiest Place on Earth with her entire fam for 9 days of FUN? With this hanging over our head!!!"
Again ... what do you want? Maybe you can go and make it special for the kids, work on changing your focus off her and toward them. (when we focus on something it becomes bigger right?) Again ... search what YOU want and not for a reaction from her ... do this for yourself.
