Andrew you know you wife better than anyone else, and you know your situation best. I'm only suggesting that your wife might already know the answers to those questions because only two weeks ago I had the same conversations with my H. My H who is the most logical person I know, but I couldn't get through to him at all. And I said all those things. The kids, the money, the parents in law, everything. He is adamant that he wants out, he wants a D. He was so convinced he was right about it, that he told his mum that we separated. His mum just finished chemotherapy. I think while they are in their fog there is no speech you can make that will get through to them. Maybe you should get legal advice or a meditator? Or counselling? Maybe one of the vets can give better advice than me. Best of luck, I wish there was something I could do to help
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
