The emotional rollercoaster does ... fill in the blank. So rember that Detach portion of DBing? Think thats just a suggestion or do you think its a valuable tool that can be used to keep yourself balanced?
I heard many of the same lines you have posted ... and add in a good number of others. I will let you in on a little secret, everytime she brought up D I simply would say "I'm sorry you feel that way, D is not what I want" I then walked. 3 years later I am still not divorced but it has finally been filed. (And honestly its ok.... I believe she needs this to get through her journey)
Thing is you have to understand, its not really about you, she is in crisis and in her mind she is desperate to stop the pain and she feels trapped, the only way out as far as she is concerned is to flee and you are the roadblock in the way of that. That's how they see it at this point. You have to stop grasping ahold of her or she will run faster and harder. Your sitch is relitively new and its not an easy thing, the longer I have been at this the more I have realized its really not so much about the MLCr and their journey... its more about the LBS and our journey, things we all need to look at and address and I would give you the best advice I can here and tell you the faster you start working on you, the better off you will be but by saying that I also know you will continue to flop around like a fish before you hit a point where you are ready to do the work ... its simply the evolution of things for us.
I will leave you with this ... the only thing that creates true change is pain. When that pain becomes strong enough to a point one just can no longer cope, true change will happen. You have to look at yourself and decide when you would like to start the changes and stop being in pain.
