Is is controlling to try to make your ex-wife collaborate with you?
She has no interest in real or meaningful collaboration. Anything you suggest or offer she has to filter through her own wayward self-entitled abusive head and how it will effect HER and HER relationship with OM#4,5, 6 or 7.
Parallel parenting will enable you to truly drop the rope and, LOVINGLY, allow her to hit rock bottom someday and recognize you really truly love and care for her children, you moved to Toronto for the kids only, you aren't trying to control her and she was a fool to leave you.
Just google parallel parenting and read up on it. There are many professionals that feel it is the better way to go in high conflict divorce/custody cases.
If your wife STAYS on her wayward path, you may very well want to move back to Michigan in a few years and make her vacation mom. The "mom" you once knew her to be would be forever gone and your kids would probably be better off NOT in her destuctive emotionally abusive mindset and lifestyle on a daily or even weekly basis. It may come to having to protect your children from her (and the men she brings into her life - - men who chase after women with young boys they can abuse).
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
