Sometimes the best way to "co-parent" is to use the Parallel Parenting Model. At least for a year or two.

In most situations like yours I recommend parallel parenting for the betrayed spouse no matter how good the other parent is seemingly being. It's just emotionally unhealthy for a victim of such abuse to be the one in there trying to be the bigger person or the "adult" with their very recent abuser.

In case like yours it's just mandatory.

You can't co-parent with a lying terrorist and she takes all your communications as attempts to control her.

Your comment about wanting receipts probably doesn't work for her because she's more worried about what her boyfriend(s) with say or think.

To her "co-parenting" is a means of manipulation and control of you by her. Parallel parenting shuts that down and enables YOU to heal.

Perhaps it's fine to move there as long as you clear it with your attorneys and; hopefully, your employer clearly defines it as a temporary assignment or something should you want to come back and she sues in Ontario trying to maintain residency/custody "as is" there. Establishing jurisdiction there is probably a huge risk so keeping an address in Michigan and not getting them dual citizenship might be safer but I have no idea. Talk to your lawyers. Get it in writing BEFORE you go there.

Parallel parenting isn't far off from LRT either. Being in Toronto will enable them to maintain and keep their relationship with mom; but, otherwise, such relationship developing and maintaining will be all on her.

I think this might have all gone down better emotionally for you if you had waited a few months to do this. After several months of reality sinking in for your STBXW sinking in and her failing to exercise her visitation (but before she got the whole summer next year) your decision to move there would have been met with relief and appreciation. Before the divorce was final just makes it sound like you didn't like the outcome, hate being stuck with the kids so much and maybe are looking for a way to MAKE her help you while maintaing control over HER kids. Not saying that's truth at all --- just how a self entitled manipulative wayward wife would maybe see things.

Antio

The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!