Taking the first step...

[Coly23]

Hey Altair and Pinn! Thanks so muchfor your post Pinn, this has really helped me. I did actually read your sitch from start to finish believe it or not and I remember how your frustration at your W not making contact was so palpable. I was with you every step of the way!

I guess my concern is that he is actually happy not having to communicate with me so I am making it easier for him by going dark but then I can't see how contacting him will benefit me in anyway but to make me more anxious and sad. This is the internal struggle I have every day!

With the signposts you and Andrew suggested I guess I could add a few more. the only thing is I keep talking myself out of them and finding reasons why it wouldn't be a signpost!

1. H has not mentioned anything about getting a separation agreement even though I have suggested it;
2. H has left the majority of his clothes behind;
3. H has left a huge amount of his other belongings behind
4. H has responded to my texts albeit after a few hours later.
5. H told D that he can get out of his lease agreement at any time (believe half of what they say?)
6. H told me that if we were to work on our relationship he didn't want any timelines (again believe half of what they say?)

I don't know if some of those signposts are me scratching around a bit. Leaving behind his clothes and belongings could mean he doesn't need them, has gone out and bought more or is using the house as a temporary storage facility! Job says a lot of the time it's because they want to retain a connection to their old life.

As for GAL. I'm not doing much at the moment that is different to before BD. My D is trying to find her feet with some independence but I am worried if I go of and do stuff she will end up being a latchkey kid so I always want to be around to make sure she is not on her own too much. Saying that I am going to look into some classes at the gym which I try to go to straight after work so it doesn't interfere with making dinner etc. Also money is a big factor at the moment as H does not contribute anything so it means I'm about £1,000 down each month.

This weekend I will go the the gym Saturday morning, house work and then I'm sitting for my Sister's twins in the evening. On Sunday I have my parents over for lunch. I was looking into a drama group at our local hall but I don't know if I am ready for that as yet....