Good questions, sorry this will require some sorting out and continued resentful venting.
I feel like for a marriage to work, especially one with children there has to be a sacrifice of each partner's independence. Decisions, and actions have to be chosen based on what's good for the team, not for the individual. They have to be communicated.
In my marriage everything was separate. And I think that was the underlying issue for me. We had separate accounts and I did not even know what my husband's take home pay was until I filed for child support...he would not tell me. I had no knowledge of his savings and everytime I asked, there was a huge argument. He did what he wanted regardless of my opinions or my input. He was never around and when he was he was sleeping. I ended up doing the same and that is the recipe for a bad marriage......
