I really struggled with that. I told myself what everyone else told me; its a business deal. My personal goal was to protect myself but not aggressively push the D. I really had to rein in my L a few times, though. We did go to mediation (I recommend it), but researched what was usual in my state for length of marriage, age, my circumstances. You should be fair; this is not a take them for every penny because they hurt you type of situation. Just make sure you are protected. Have a bottom line that is comfortable. Do the math. Be prepared. Have a way to prove that you need what you are asking for. Its business.
I had trouble sometimes with the emotions getting involved, but didn't show H (except when I got an email from my L early on that was asking about something from H's L that was crazy and shocked me while I was dropping something off for him). I found that some L's like to stir things up and push and prod without their clients fully being aware of what they are doing. Taking a piece of info and running with it. Fortunately, some of my H's L's "instigating moves" were based on info that was wrong that I know he wouldn't have gotten wrong (even in MLC) so I was able to figure out that she was doing it without his full knowledge. Be prepared. They like to "win". We were able to be cordial through our process. The mediator was good at handling the L's, too.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
