MLC & Alcoholic

[HaWho]

Hi Kdvor - so you mentioned on my thread that your h is selfish. Many of us here speculate that perhaps the person prone to MLC is on the selfish side and has poor coping skills while the LBS is a fixer/avoider and perhaps, in some cases, codependent. My h, too, was on the selfish side and I am for sure a fixer.

Like you, I did it all when my kids were young. I tried to get my h to help but he became unreasonable. I think he was on the selfish side + he had slipped into MLC and had regressed. Like you I grew resentful because he wouldn't meet me half way. It was a source of friction for me. So I get what you mean there.

You mentioned that your h is drinking. Has he always been a drinker and it has worsened? Or did he start drinking with his depression?

Is he physically and verbally abusive to you and the kids?

I definitely recommend you go see an IC (for you not as marriage counseling) regardless of the answers to the above questions. However, if he is abusive, this is definitely something you should be tackling with a therapist because you and your kids deserve to be safe in your own home.

As bad as all this is, the good news: this is your chance to really re-evaluate yourself, your m and the next years of your life.

Are you meeting with an IC? If not, you should find one with whom you are comfortable. It helped me a lot!