I just read crw's thread regarding relationship while divorcing and couldn't help comparing.
So My husband left me and we have been physically separated for over a year. But the divorce proceedings are only just starting. I started dating someone and we are moving on a very slow scale. We actually met a few times in the past post BD through mutual friends and had nice conversation but because of my situation I never thought much about it. He has no kids and has never been married. I will not have him meet my son, unless we are together for a year.
I let him initiate and despite him doing everything right, I have little faith or trust in him. I am mentally prepared to end things on a drop. We didn't talk for 2 days and I was envisioning this scenario in which he stone walled me for a few weeks and what I would say to break things off. He is honest, he shares his vulnerabilities with me, he puts effort into things, he wants to get to know me, he tells me I have everything going for me and makes jokes that I am settling for him, he references us (son included) in future scenarios. I like him but in my mind, I think he will turn into my husband and I am constantly (secretly) looking for those signs.
I worry that because he has not been married and has no children that he has no idea of what type of sacrifice an enduring relationship requires. I don't want to be attached and then have him realize after the initial attraction wears off that, "hey dealing with a kid is a major responsibility and I just need to bail". Because essentially, that's what my husband did.
My family feels like I should date other men first. (They have not met him) that I should not commit. But I enjoy his jokes and conversation and the distraction, and of course I wouldn't be dating him if I didn't see potential for long term. But there are red flags too...namely his inexperience.
