New LBH with WAW/Possibly WW, help Part 2

[j20a00g]

Oh man, I feel like I'm in full paranoia mode. She hasn't done anything really to make me think she's doing anything underhanded, but, if I think about her, and what she might be doing, my mind goes to bad places.

I guess the right thing is to try and not think about her, but, gawd, that's hard for me to do.

I think I've been lulled a little bit since we've been pretty good the last few days, and no R talk at all, either good or bad. Now, I'm getting all paranoid about her, when i should still be working on detaching.

Any suggestions on how to stop my mind from thinking the worst when I think about her, or how to stop thinking about her?

Update: Played cards with friends last night, got a nail in my tire, and had to change it at 10:30 pm, today I have to get it fixed. Yippee. Didn't get to read any DR.

Thanks guys.

One way I have gotten better from full paranoia mode is to accept that I have no control over it. At the end of the day, the A has/is happened/happening. It changes NOTHING on your side. I know with 1000% certainty that my w is still having the A and in the fog. Nothing she can do with him or say to me will hurt me anymore than I already have been hurt by it already. Control your thoughts and accept that you are where you are and only you move the dial. She will test you. She will try to break you. Don't let it happen. You and your son along with any hope for a future M rely on it. Use the trip she's taking as a time to further the bond with your son and focus on you. Don't worry about what she's doing (I guarantee you she isn't thinking about what you are doing). I'm not saying that to be mean. My w (and other waywayrds) do what they want when they want with who they want. Don't take it personal. It's her journey. It may feel that it's against you (I feel it all the time) but, the reality is, you rarely if ever even pop into her head when she's making decisions on anything right now. You play a large role if it's "right now" or "ever again".