Oh man, I feel like I'm in full paranoia mode. She hasn't done anything really to make me think she's doing anything underhanded, but, if I think about her, and what she might be doing, my mind goes to bad places.
I guess the right thing is to try and not think about her, but, gawd, that's hard for me to do.
I think I've been lulled a little bit since we've been pretty good the last few days, and no R talk at all, either good or bad. Now, I'm getting all paranoid about her, when i should still be working on detaching.
Any suggestions on how to stop my mind from thinking the worst when I think about her, or how to stop thinking about her?
Update: Played cards with friends last night, got a nail in my tire, and had to change it at 10:30 pm, today I have to get it fixed. Yippee. Didn't get to read any DR.
Thanks guys.
You have to have discipline of thought. Idle hands are your enemy right now. That's when your thoughts drift to your W and your sitch and you end up depressed and lamenting. You know how attractive that looks to her? Not at all. That makes you look weak, pathetic, clingy, etc.
You need to flip that script. That's what 180, detaching, GAL, moving on, etc. is all about. Following sandi's 37 rules and following the 180 and the program will do two things.
First, it will make you very attractive to your W. You'll have more self-confidence, you'll be improving yourself, you'll be positive/happy, etc.
Second, IF your M doesn't survive, you'll be fine because you've detached and started building your own life.
Following the program puts you in a no-lose situation. Either way it goes you'll be fine.
As for your W's emotional health these days, the A was just ended a few days ago (bravo for that, my man, a lot of people don't know how important of a step that is). She is in mourning right now. She had this wonderful fantasy cooked up in her head where you're the devil and this OM was a knight in shining armor who is rescuing her from her hellish life. Now, we all know that none of that is true and when you're not in affair fog it looks really ridiculous. Almost laughably ridiculous. The thing is, wayward's really believe that ridiculous crap and now it has popped like a bubble and is gone. Of course she's going to mourn that until the fog dissipates. While she's mourning you have to become the absolute best version of yourself you can possibly be. The most attractive you've ever been physically, emotionally, work ethic, good judgment, leadership, etc. Spend this time being the best "nutts" you can be so when the fog clears there is one heck of an attractive option staring her in the face. You and your wonderful family.
