Still hanging on ... just

[Oluwa]

Thanks for the replies. I understand your comments about the confusion. I guess I keep need to telling myself to remember rule # xx from Sandi's Rules "32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he/she is hurting and scared."

This is difficult because when we do seem to be having a good few weeks, I start to test the waters again. And if we do have a conversation she will always come back to saying she doesn't love me anymore.

Even a week before the last talk where she talked of separation again, we had done a competition run together early morning and then when we got home we made breakfast together for us and the kids. We settled down to watch TV as we were tired from the run. At some point when I sat down, she playfully pinched my butt. She hasn't done any physical play like that for more than a year.

Since, as the LBS I am constantly monitoring her every move, this brought alot of hope for me.

But as I say when we went out to lunch to talk about the relationship, she started with "nothings changed! We should look at separating". I was so shocked as I thought we were having some better times, not to mention that small incident described above.

I said that we seem to be having some good nights out, and the run together was fun etc. But when I asked her this, she said "Not Really! I did it because you wanted to". I find this so hard to believe, as she was clearly enjoying both the nights out and the run.

Its like if I ask "how are we doing?", she will always only say all the negative things.

Am I on the right track, apart from the testing the water, which I need to stop doing.