Vey detached, no longer anxious, in limbo

[Vanilla]

Oh and if the Wassock is there, have someone follow him he doesn't know. His number plate may be valuable or the train he takes.

V

[SH_]

Hello my dear Phoebe...
Quite the mentor you have with Lady V...
Your mentor...
My guardian Angel...

How lucky and blessed are we??

Meditated much?

I pray you have some peace and restful sleep my dear sweet friend.

(((((Phoebe)))))

[Vanilla]

JusT dropping in with fire

V

[Phoebe]

Hi, V and SH!! I was incommunicado for a little bit, and have to run off again, but I just wanted o say hello and to thank you for your advice and for checking in on me.

Love the Wassock term, V. It was a new one, but it is apt. I also love, love, love your game analogy for your plan with your own D. I'm familiar with the TED talk speaker you mentioned, and really like how you have adapted her game plan into your own.

Many of my goals align with yours, so I'm going to have to look at you game plan more closely!

I'll be back with more. I'm kind of just taking the weekend off. I really needed some down time. I'm in a funk right now, for the first time since walk-away, I am consistently having a hard time getting out of bed. Maybe that's why I have so many nights when I am reluctant to get INTO bed and go to sleep? Once I'm there, I just want to hide from the world.

V, I am kind of tapped out on the social media game. All of his accounts are private and/or specifically block me, soI'd need a third person that I am not linked with in any way who would be willing to look into what he might have available. I don't have any friends that are on social media that aren't also linked to me. : (

I've been stewing not hat one a bit, but haven't gotten very far. Must give it more thought.

More later, and thanks for the extra dose of fire, V.

[SH_]

My dearest Phoebe.
It is good to here you are still taking things one step at a time.

Take all the rest that you need.

One quick thought for the social media.
One of your friends could set up a "dummy" account that is not attached to you.Just a thought.
I do not have much experience in what V is sharing with you, and I can only imagine the emotional toll that can have, but all that you can learn from her will help you much as the W has proven that you will need to defend yourself and that may need to be from an offensive point.

I pray for you daily my friend and wish that we could meet so that i could be in closer contact to support you in this very difficult time.

Be well, and continue to do what you can for the sleep.
You have become much stronger than you know it, and we don't want sleep deprivation to interfere if possible.

(((((My dear Phoebe)))))

[Vanilla]

Phoebe

I discovered by accident the dummy account, in my case for security reasons I required a second account. So it would need to be a new email and say a maiden name. So instead of Phoebe Wassock, it would be Phoebe Wasbest.

The Giggalo set up my old one and it's with his email and he has the password. FB won't take it down and at one stage the Giggalo tried to upload some slightly inappropriate pictures.

Funnily enough his OW often show up as peeps you know. And OW8 RIT aka Maggotroni2 tried to friend me as did two of her relatives. WTF?

This world is a mad place. So we can use this madness to drive us.

You are doing well, I would like you to know this.

And yes your sitch has some similarities to my own, and some important differences of course. The vanishing wayward as opposed to the kitty MLC is in play as well as the compulsive grab all your can. I was tapped out so no money to move.

Yes The Wassock suits the Wassock. Good olde worlde phrase.

I believe in naming and shaming this sort of bad behaviour.

V

[Vanilla]

In English speak that's Wazzock.

With zzzzzzz zzzzzzz, even more appropriate.

V

[Phoebe]

Well, it's been another difficult few days, but I'm still standing. We had our first court appearance and I saw STBXH for the first time in 6 months. So, he is still in-country, though I still don't know anything other than that. It was really quite surreal.

Sunday was rough, then I saw my therapist the day before the court date and had a good talk. I told him how I've just been feeling like I don't care about much of anything any more, that most mornings for the last week, or so, I just want to stay in bed (not to sleep, but just to be able to stay in my safe warm nest), and that I am not sure why I keep staying up so stupidly late, but I keep doing it. He pretty much told me that I've taken s lot of hits in the last couple weeks, and that it's normal. He actually said he'd have worried more if I didn't have this kind of reaction. So... I guess it's normal, but it still svcks.

The night before the court appearance was horrible, I was an emotional disaster area. Eventually I went back into my hyperventilating/sobbing/down for the count meltdown, which required some Xanax to get through. In court, however, beyond shaky hands that I had to bury in my jap, I wax surprisingly OK. It helped to have my mom on one side of me and my L on the other.

I actually walked away feeling sorry for STBXH. The judge reduced some of the figures that my L asked for for various things, but the judge ruled for me on every count. The case stays in my jurisdiction (though the case I. The other state remains an issue), my legal fees are now WH's responsibility, and I got some temporary support. WH mostly kept his composure, but his very red face gave him away. He was pissed. Ah well, his fantasy life was to be divorced, so this is what he wanted. We could have settled. Instead, a judge had to make the initial decisions, and then things are out of your control. WH just learned a very expensive lessons.

Ok more later. I'm fall My asleep and I'm going to go with it.

[Vanilla]

Phoebe

A big big hug, can I say you did so well.

Expect the wazzzzzock to get angry, hold your cool, refer to your L

Amazing sweetheart it was terrific and relieving for me to read your post.

Smiling from ear to ear, what a lovely transformation, I Internet promise that despite future ups and downs the worst is done and dusted.

So, so proud of you.

V

[Painter]

Oh Phoebe, what a harrowing time! I didn't know you had a court date coming up. I'm glad you got through it feeling relatively calm. Yes, surround yourself with support.

And congratulations on the judge ruling in your favor! Was anything said about the missing funds?

I hope you got some sleep.