Maybell 40

[Zues126]

Hey MB. I totally get it. There is a reason it takes two people to create a child. Raising a family really isn't a one person job. Cost of living is so high it practically takes two incomes to pay the bills, and being tied to a 60 hour gig is essentially doing just that. And even if XH does some things for the kids, you often have to duplicate those efforts anyway. Not like if he goes grocery shopping on Monday you don't still have to. All in all, too much needing to get done every day, anything but top priorities starting to slide, then they become top priorities soon enough and pile on, then the trying to keep a grip on everything falling apart around you, until one day you look around and wonder how your life became so frazzled you don't recognize yourself and can't remember what it means to have a spring in your step or be excited for something on the calendar.

I am through 90% of that now, so let me share some hope with you. When things are bad it's easy to extrapolate that out, and it can add to our feelings of being overwhelmed. I knew when I was going through all of this crap some things would change: I would move closer to the kids' school, my job would get easier one way or another, the D would be finalized. This didn't really change how I felt during the time (and it seemed like 10 years!) and I felt like I was tricking myself after a while telling myself it would get easier (like saying 'we'll eat soon' to someone dying of hunger) but I kept faith. Not even faith...just logical reasoning that something had to give. Well, I am not closer to their school, but work is easier, D is finalized, and I got the unexpected surprise of a lifetime with my mom moving in with me to offer some support.

Is there anything that might give on your side? Any upcoming changes that might make a shift? If not, and you are fighting to hang on with no possible relief in sight, you might have to make some hard decisions about where to give. We all know stories of single mothers that sacrificed everything and worked multiple jobs to support their kids without a moment's rest for themselves in ten years. I won't pretend that it doesn't happen. And there's a right time and place to make severe sacrifices. But long term I think you need to make sure you have something on the horizon to hang on for, something that could take pressure off your plate.

I know things are tough financially and we don't always get to just walk out on a job willy nilly. I will say I hate that salary employees get worked 60 hours a week. This is not acceptable. And I am PISSED OFF that your director would allow this knowing the impact it makes in your world. Seriously...this workaholic culture is not right. If you can't run your business without working your employees off the clock to their breaking point, you can't run your business. Grr. I don't want to hold people back that want to work 60 hours, and if those people get paid more or have access to higher level executive careers, hey, good for them. But for those of us that didn't sign up to sell our souls, please leave them in our still beating body for crying out loud.

OK, I'm working myself up, time to cool myself down. Sorry things are tough MB. I wish we could form a support group post D where we could actually help each other out. I'd love to come do a few loads of laundry for you this weekend. Maybe we should all move next to Sunny?