Ok. Just to clarify. I did read Divorce Busting. But I really feel confused about the whole thing which is why I sending so many questions.
I am not a type A control freak. I am more Type B. I happily kept "the ship" running while he "played". Sometimes I would be frustrated and resentful, but for the most part I was happy for my life. I definitely didn't show him lots of mushy love and as he says didn't act sexy. But I was exhausted and probably a little resentful that he didn't appreciate all I did deep inside.
He doesn't EVER do anything to help. So I never criticize. Honest.
This doesn't sound like a happy or healthy marriage, but you seem resistant to any introspection about what you can do to improve things by changing yourself, not by changing him.
You seem very dismissive of his needs.
Even your proposed 180 is focused on getting him to do more, not on changing yourself.
You really need to focus on you.
Am I saying this is all your fault? Am I saying it is fair? Not At All.
But I do think that it's easier for our spouses to change if we change first. Especially if they want out. Especially if they are in an MLC.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
