Then she disclosed that she wanted to tell me something that she needed closure on. ----- She had an affair with my husband when I was pregnant with my second son ----17 yrs ago. I didnt need to know this. I had no idea. I'm sure she feels better now. Hmmph! It doesnt feel good.
OMG - just read this and almost spit out my tea. Why on EARTH did she feel she needed to tell you this? And how come she can't make the connection that maybe THIS has something to do with why the boys don't like her??? How clueless she must be, to marry your ex. They deserve each other.
About your ex wanting to get the boys back into counseling - ugh. Counseling with a narcissist - been there, got the t-shirt. My ex's idea of marriage counseling was going together to a counselor so he could complain about all of my imperfections. Looking back on it, he never owned any of his own sh!t. But was so charming he could convince the counselors that I was somehow the problem, even though I tw3isted myself into a pretzel trying to be what he wanted. I can see the narcissism clearly now, but didn't realized what I was dealing with at the time.
Now I keep our interactions to a minimum, but his relationships with our grown children are suffering because of his narcissism. Our youngest hasn't spoken to him in a year, and although my son is open to repairing the relationship, he's smart enough to recognize that when his dad suggests counseling, it's all about "fixing" my son, not about my H owning any of his share of responsibility for the breakdown in the relationship. I try to encourage a compassionate Buddhist attitude towards his dad but can't help but understand my son's position.
