Here is the thing with the STFU Smoothie ... Was Nov 14 and my W at the time hit a low spot and reached out wanting to talk, expressing she had made a mess of things and I simply had no words to offer, I was not about to pile on, nor could I argue so I sat there and in my mind sipped on this STFU smoothie and something remarkable happened .... the more I sat there in silence the more she talked and opened up. Now nothing was fixed out of this but it did give me a rare window into the mind of a MLCr and what she was going through at that time. That whole Knowledge is Power thing.
In the new days I would say the STFU smoothie is more for you to not add fuel to the fire, the MLCr after BD is desperate to distance themselves from the LBS and will do/say anything to get you to let go. You will find when you do 180 and let them be and you go about your day doing your thing, they will notice .. the reaction will be different for each sitch but they do watch us, they notice but you must allow them to get through their crisis and the majority who are here are complete fixers which creates more issues in itself.
Stop fixing, stfu, gal and look in the mirror in what you can do ... that's improve yourself, invest in you for now, allow them to walk that rocky trail without your help. They have to grow just as you do.
