Update: ...She still picks them up from school and has them for 3 hours until I picked them up after work. But on the weekends, my daughters don't get a phone call or no longer go with her. It has been one month since the last time they spent the night at her apartment.
...She said she will file for divorce after the holidays.
...I decided since she is not helping with food, bills, mortgage anymore, I need to find a weekend job. I had to talk with my daughter that I wish I could stay home with them and take out to the park or visit family like we always do, but the bills are piling up.
Uh, no. Dont get a weekend job. Get spousal and child support and take your daughter to the park on Saturday.
Look, you have enough to take your WW to the cleaners. She left and has no overnights - custody is calculated based on overnights. Sounds like she is not providing any financial support to the girls or the household.
Unless you have financial orders in place, then even if she left your WW is legally on the hook for half the mortgage, half the utilities, half the groceries, etc. You guys also jointly own the debt. All assets (house, cars) and debt (mortgage, credit cards) is half hers and half yours. This means you can stick at least half of this debt with her in a divorce. Or you can keep the debt and go for more support and then just declare bankruptcy and clear your obligations.
You need to put your foot down and make sure you are getting a fair deal in terms of custody, child support and financial support. Spend time looking up the laws in your state, gather all of your financial info and bills and get consultations with a couple of lawyers. You dont need to retain them, and this doesnt mean you will necessarily even divorce. But they will tell you you can do to protect yourself in terms of custody and finances. There is a very good chance you can put her on the hook for half of all household expenses since she left plus extra child support, but you need to hurry. You need this to take proper care of your kids, and her free ride will be over.
