Found out about W affair, she does not know I know

[Steady9]

I asked my W -- if we could start over like we just met today. Forget about whatever happened yesterday and move forward. What you should want in a MR. (with me). This is what she wrote-----


If i just met you "today", and we were to discuss getting married, these are the types of things that would be important to me.
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(you took all the below mentioned words from me already)

Accoutability- There is no blame game. Each of us plays their part in the ways of the world and owns the repsonsibility. We accept our own failings.
Honesty/Trust/transparancy- Openess... say what is on your mind... in a respectful way. When I do this, I want to trust you will be open and accepting to the topic of the conversation. Of course you dont have to agree... but atleast listen and be open. I once heard someone say "Say what you mean, and mean what you say".
Respect- I wont degrade, belittle or make you feel inferior. I might discuss my opinion or point of view, but i would do it in a constructive manner with only the intent to be helpful. I would be sensitive to your feelings.
It would be important that we understand each others life aspirations and goals, whether personal or career wise. I have a great job currently, and I might need to know if you plan on moving to Siberia to live like a Neanderthal. I realize these goals and said aspirations are dynamic and can change and evolve over time.... so continuing communication is necessary.
It would be imortant that any adverse feelings are discussed in a timely fashion so as those feelings do not become a burden and or hindrance and or contribute to the dimise of our future relationship. I know that harboring feelings can lead to break down in communication between people in general and eventually the relationship.
It would be important that each of us participate in each others interests.. for instance if you happen to like football, I can spend the time with you in such an event becasue it is something you find "joy" in doing, and I would want to do things with you... just to be with you, doing something you enjoy.... maybe in the future i may like to take care of a lawn... or decorate a christmas tree... with you :-)
Since at this point of meeting you....we know nothing about each others family: However, it would be imprtant to me that (and this probably falls under participating in each others interests) that we each participate in the extended families. I'm close to some of my family members, so it would be great if you and i would be able to visit with them and spend some quality time.
If we ever have kids, a marriage with kids.... we both participate in the their daily lives, they are afforded time with us in individual and family as a whole. Each parent is resposible for making the child feel important and loved. They would be our kids.. not mine only and not yours only.
Its a little far in the future, but I would get a lot of gratification if our future kids could say, "I want to have a life/relationship lke mom and dad" I would most definitly perfer to be the example they aspire to follow than to not.
Balance- Everything requires balance to keep order... relationships with people are no different. I understand this can happen, but its important to me that you and i would be aware and care enough at those times (should they happen), to reaccess and find our balance again.
I love you -my name- she put my name here