Ya, I am much better these days. It's only taken me 3 years, but hey, who's counting?
The scary part for me is that it's more about me figuring my chit out these days. H has really given me a lot to think about, a side of him I didn't know he had, a side I am not too fond of. He has never really been a support system, a "I am here no matter what" type of person. I mean, the guy blew up his family because he wasn't getting enough attention! I know this all comes from deeper issues, I have my own, but I find myself wondering if I could ever really count on him through life, through tough times. We shall see......
I think we all have those thoughts/moments. I came across a post elsewhere talking about the memories. We all have these memories and it seems the MLCr skews them and only focuses on the bad, while the LBS often holds on to the good very much like someone who had lost their spouse to a sudden death. I had to sit back and really think about this myself, my W is the same, not a "I will have your back no matter what type" if anything she would pile on and I had to come to terms that I may in fact have re-written some of my marriage memories and things were not always Valhalla, I think I just figured this is what marriage is ... good with the bad, sickness and health but to be honest there was more bad and sickness than the counter part. I think at this point we all have stripped down the entire thing and we know who we are, what we want, what we will accept, what we will not tolerate and its up to the MLCr to convince us there is a future, something to look forward to while ensuring us we never go through this experience ever again .... but as we know this conversation is a distant one and we continue to wait for the fog to clear.
I always love to hear from you.