I have followed your sitch from post one .... as DB as this sounds I am sorry to hear that you feel this way but I am not really that surprised. In your situation you have a massive cake eater and you have armed yourself with a shovel thinking he will get fat and tired of it which is why you do not have a monster on your hands trying to escape. By 'helping and being there for him' you are actually just enabling him and in return you are not happy, you are not GALing or trying to grow so essentially you both will sadly be stuck for some time.
I do wish you well on your journey
I came back just to see the responses here and as I expected my last post was deleted. But I could not stay quiet and have to defend my husband against this slander. I have not shared the core reason my husband got married with the forum but I can assure you that there was something we could not solve any other way under the laws of the country we live in other than for him to marry. Where you live, the laws are different. You have different options available. If you and your wife faced the same problem we did, you would not have to marry another woman, nor even have a relationship with another woman, nor even meet another woman, to solve the same problem. You'd be able to solve the problem as husband and wife alone. So instead of this being a case of "cake-eating," it's a man who is forced to take on extra responsibility for the rest of his life in order to solve a problem that the both of us faced. If I am enabling him, it is because he is doing this for US, believe it or not. He could have left me behind and solved the problem for himself without me, but he didn't. He did not want to abandon me. We have an excellent relationship with one another. Maybe you would consider it a big sweet and tasty cake to have two women, but that's because you aren't considering the implications of being a good husband to two. My husband is a good man at heart, trying to handle the circumstances God has given him and a situation that he simply has not thought through very well yet, but with time he will figure things out. I'm not sitting around waiting for things to change. I don't need to GAL as I already have one. I know that goes against DB theory because we are supposed to all be losers who don't have a life and that is why we are here, but we are all different and that is not necessarily true. I will love him and be happy with him whatever he chooses because the foundation of our relationship is solid. I will find a way to make the best out of the situation, for both our sakes, because we are good for eachother and want to be together. Simple as that.
