Like I told Cherry, I realised that there is a difference between reaching out and being clingy. I think it's anti -DB to cling in desperation. On the other hand, I think if you can reach out in confidence and compassion without being a doormat, I really don't see why not.
Do what works. When H is swinging, stay on even keel. Validate when possible. When not, go dim and zip the lips.
When H is being normal or nice, match his brightness and maybe just go a little brighter and see what happens. Monitor and adjust.
I think I finally understand the concept of the lighthouse. Of being consistently compassionate. I think the wh are in so much confusion that they will appreciate the consistency that they so lack in their lives. They are skittish little squirrels.
Your H has at least 6 more months before he can file. You have the gift of at least 6 months.
If he starts taking actions to file, then you could start letting him feel the reasonable consequences of a D - less time with the children, alimony, child support, minimised physical access to you.
In the meantime, please take care of yourself first. You must be strong and confident to last the war.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
