W and I have had no contact for a while now.When I sent her an email for her October contribution she told me a little about her stresses and problems but apart from that nothing. S's birthday is coming up after next weekend. W sent me an email today saying: "I'd like the three of us to have lunch together. I don't know anything about you and little about S. I don't know if we could have a more fluid relationship as it is currently non existent and that doesn't seem normal to me. Even worse is that S sees it the same way as you. Meeting up with me is an exception. Would you be ok if you only saw him 20 minutes a week?" I haven't replied to her. I've already told her it is up to S how he wants to celebrate his birthday as he'll be 16. This email seems to me to try to bring me back as the friend who'll meet her for a coffee while OM is working or busy. Of course I'd love to see her etc but it wouldn't be real and I feel would be a massive step back. I'm thinking of replying something like: Hi, I hope things are going well for you in the life you chose. I'm getting on with my life and, at the moment, it doesn't work for me to carry on as if our relationship hasn't changed. I hope your relationship with S improves but that is something for you both, not me. As for S's birthday I'll do whatever he wants to do. I'm sure he'll have lunch with you over the weekend. Our main priority now has to be supporting our son in his education and daily life. Take care. Right tone? Really don't know what goes on in her mind these days.
