Mr. Bond is absolutely correct. If you give him an ultimatum of either get help or get out, he's going to choose get out. You are basically opening the door and giving him all the justification he needs to leave. If he's in crisis, he's not going to see that he needs help. Oh, he may go to a therapist for a while, but he will only hear what he wants to hear and yes, he will come back and say that he went just to shut you up and that there is not one thing wrong w/him.
I would recommend that you read HaWho's threads. Her h has been in crisis for a bit and still lives at home. She's come a long way and when I say that she's earned her wings and halo, I mean it. Her h is acting just like a teenager, but she's learned how to detach and yes, even find some humor in what he's saying and doing, but she still has days of frustration.
One of things that many of us don't realize is that we tend to take over doing things for our spouses and not allowing them do them themselves. We basically become authority figures to them, i.e., mother and father figures. If this is the case, then start stepping back and stop trying to fix him because you can't...you aren't his mother. If he makes mistakes, then leave it to him to figure it out. If he leaves his clothes in the floor, leave them there. He's a grown man and should be picking up after himself. There are things that you can do in a subtle way that will give him the independence and freedom he is craving. I'll say it again, you didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him.
It's a new day...breathe! This is not a sprint, but a marathon so dig deeper for patience and come here to vent.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
