Thank you so much for this post. Very helpful and even hopeful. So here's the thing - she is in therapy now. In fact one of the messages I found which was to an old friend of hers says she is in therapy and it is just making her feeling stronger for him. That she loves him more than anyone she has ever known. I now know after researching and Finding her Other messages to him that are borderline obsessive that she is in Limerence.
If she is seeking help on her own and her feelings are getting stronger, I feel Like we need a breakthrough of some sort together.
Don't worry about her proclamations of love for the loser OM. It's not real. It's the fantasy she thinks she's living out in her head. A fantasy he doesn't share. He just wants a side piece so he'll say whatever it takes to make that happen. Once she wanted a real relationship he's pulling back. He doesn't want to mess up his own marriage. Anyway, she's in a fog now and nothing she says can be taken seriously.
I stand by my advice in the earlier post about how to confront.
