I think my wife is in MLC and it seems hopeless

[ericmsant2]

SBJ
BREATH brother…breath.

I mean it….it is obvious that you are totally freaking out. Understandable.
You are reeling and this is going to help your sitch.

I understand that she is in pain,

Do you? If you are not in crisis…how can you. Think about it. You THINK you know what she feel. It really is impossible to.

but I am willing to do what it takes.

I think you really mean you are willing to do what it takes….. on YOUR schedule, on YOUR timeline and on YOUR terms.
Are you willing to leave her alone?

Are you willing to accept that she is in lala land?

Are you willing to accept that she did not ask for this crisis – nor did you. It is NOT YOUR fault that she has flipped out.

Are you willing to accept that right NOW SHE wants OUT and NEEDS space and that RIGHT NOW…those are HER terms? How willing are you to RESPECT her wishes – even if those wishes do not align with what YOU want RIGHT now?
I ask because….according to YOU….(your quote below)

She is worth it and my kids are worth it.

If she is worth it….then right now YOU need to let go and let God.
As Mr Bond said….chances are It will get worse before it get better.

It seems like she just keeps baiting me into conversations to try and get me to agree with her.

She can bait all she wants. You can control yourself – right?

Look dude, a simple, I am not really ready to discuss this right now. Is all you need to say. I would NOT agree to anything nor would I disagree. It is simple – you are not ready to discuss. Period. If pushed, then she can do what she feels she needs to do.
She is probably going to continue to push. How you respond will be key. You try and convince or her pull her closer – she will continue to push and pull further.
Bottom line – you say you do not want the divorce. She has heard it – multiple times from you. You do not need to repeat it anymore.
Everyone here has said to detach. Start doing it. It will take time. The faster you detach – the better off you will be.


I think someone else already told you that this will be the hardest thing you DO. It will.

“For better or for worse”

“in sickness and in health”

Remember those up there ^^^^

…..well now it time for YOU to decide IF and for HOW long YOU choose to live these words.

Can you stand when she needs she but is unable to tell you that?

Can you stand when she is batchit crazy and screaming that she wants out?

Can you stand by her while try to figure this out on HER OWN?

Can you stand when all seems hopeless?

Can you stand….not knowing what will happen?

Can you have faith that this is in God hands – not YOURS?

Cause…if I recall…. You said she was worth it.

You will become one hell of man – if you want to.

There is no timeline and no magic pill.

Coach, vets, books….nothing can ensure the outcome.

I’ll leave you with this…….

Do you want to know for YOUR self…that you gave it everything you had and even when you no more…you gave it another day…another week…. Do you want to be able to say to her….

I love you and gave it everything I had

Cause one day buddy……she just may thank you for standing next to her while she was in the darkest moment of her life.